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A Duck Hunter’s Early Start

 

One Friday night a man tells his wife that he is going duck hunting in the morning.

She says, "I want to go too."

He says, "NO... You are too hard to wake up."

She begged him, "Please, Please. I promise I will wake up early." He says, "O.K. but if you wont get up, I'm going to screw you up the ass or you are going to give me a blow job."

She said, "I've got nothing to worry about because I will wake up."

3:00am the next morning the alarm goes off. The man gets up and tries to wake up his wife. She's still laying there and he tells her that he is going to take a shower and when he gets out she'd better be up. He gets out of the shower and she is still sleeping. He tells her he is going to give her one more chance to wake up. He has to go out and get their stuff and put the dogs in the truck and when he comes back in she has to be awake or she has to pay up. He's out there about 30 minutes and when he comes back in his wife is snoring.

He is pissed. He wakes her up.

He said, "OK now whats it going to be? In the ass or a blow job?"

She said, "all right... I can't take in the ass so I will give you a blow job."

He pulls out his cock and she starts sucking on it.

Then she begins to spit and spit. She says, "THAT TASTES LIKE SHIT!!!"

He said, "Yeah, I know, the dogs didn't want to wake up either."

Quotes for Today:

A morning without coffee is like something without something else.
 


A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.
George Bernard Shaw, Irish playwright, essayist and literary critic (1856-1950) 


A recent survey, proved that 80% of the males in Liverpool had sex in the shower, the remaining 20% have not been in Prison yet
 

This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯



The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

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