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Bad Day For The Undertaker

 

Roy, an undertaker, came home with a black eye.

"What happened to you" asked his wife"?

"I had a terrible day", replies Roy. "I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died in his sleep. When I got there, the manager said they couldn't get him into a body bag because he had this huge erection. Anyway, I find the room and, sure enough, there's this big naked guy lying on the bed with this huge erection. So I grabbed it with both hands and tried to snap it in half".

"I see", says his wife. "But how did you get the black eye"?

Roy: "Wrong room".

Quotes for Today:

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters (and keyboards).
Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959) 


I'm happy to report that it has been a couple of weeks since I had a cigarette and my desire to kill people is beginning to fade. Of course writing this has created an urge for a smoke...
 


I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
Groucho Marx 

This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯



The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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