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Biggest Lies And Porky Pies

 

I’ll respect you in the morning.

I’m from your government, and I am here to help you.

You get this one, I’ll pay next time.

It’s not the money, it’s the principle of the thing.

Trust me, I’ll take care of everything.

pinochio.png

My wife doesn’t understand me.

Of course I love you.

I am getting a divorce.

Drinking? Why, no, Officer.

I never inhaled.

I gave at the office.

She means nothing to me.

I never watch television except for PBS.

Don’t worry, I can go another 20 miles when the gauge
is on “empty.”

Don’t worry, he’s never bitten anyone.

I’ll call you later.

…but we can still be good friends.

We’ll release the upgrade by the end of the year.

Read my lips: no new taxes

I’ve never done anything like this before

Now, I’m going to tell you the truth

It’s supposed to make that noise.

I *love* your new...

This can save your bacon
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Quotes for Today:

It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown... and fewer still to ignore someone completely.
 


It's not so much how busy you are, but why you are busy. The bee is praised; the mosquito is swatted.
Catherine O'Hara  


It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.
 


The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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