Caught In The Act
Sheila says "That's it, I'm leaving and never coming back."
Mark says "Don't you at least want to hear my explanation?"
Sheila shrugs and says "Fine, let's hear your story."
Mark says "I'm driving along the street when I see this young lady in torn clothes, no shoes, all muddy and crying. I took pity on her and asked if she would like to get cleaned up in my house.
She climbed into my truck and I brought her home. She took a shower, I gave her the underwear that doesn't fit you anymore, the blouse I bought you 2 years ago that you never wore, the $150 Nike running shoes you bought but never used - I even gave her some of the roast beef you had in the fridge, but didn't serve to me.
I showed her to the door. She thanked me profusely. As she was about to leave she turned around and asked me, 'Is there anything else your wife doesn't use anymore?'"