Cowboy From Brokeback Mountain
The doctor comes back and says, "I am not going to beat around the bush, You have AIDS."
Cowboy tugs at his Stetson and sets his jaw and says, "Doc, what can I do?"
The doctor says, "I want you to go home and eat 5 pounds of spicy sausage, a head of cabbage, 20 un-peeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalopeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of Grapenuts cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice."
Cowboy squares his rugged shoulders and asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?"
"No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your ass is for."