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Current British Humour

 

  • It has been announced that the police are going to be allowed to use water cannons on rioters in Birmingham.
    They are putting some Persil in to stop the coloureds running.

  • Two Muslims crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London .....
    Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-Dam.

  • Riots in Wythenshawe last month caused over a million pounds worth of improvements.

  • Muslims have gone on the rampage in Liverpool, killing anyone who's English.
    Police fear the death toll could be as high as 1.

  • Sat opposite an Indian lady on the train today; she shut her eyes and stopped breathing.
    I thought she was dead, until I saw the red spot on her forehead and realised she was just on standby.

  • They've had to cancel the panto 'Jack & the Beanstalk' in Birmingham, Bristol, Oldham, Bradford, Burnley, Leicester Luton and London ..
    Apparently the giant couldn't smell any Englishmen.

  • Years ago it was suggested that, "An apple a day keeps the Doctor away."
    But since all the doctors in England are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works a treat!

  • A pharmacist walked into his shop in Paddington to find a Pakistani leaning against the wall.

    "What's wrong with him?", he asked his assistant.

    "He came in for cough syrup, but I couldn't find any so I gave him an entire box of laxatives."

    "You idiot" said the chemist, "You can't stop a cough with laxatives."

    "Of course you can" the assistant replied,

    "Look at him..... he daren't cough now !!”



Contributor: Brenda

Quotes for Today:

Seasonal Greetings
 


Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: 'Buy one dog, get one flea...'
 


Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves together; that at length they may emerge, full-formed and majestic, into the delights of life, which they are thenceforth to rule.
Thomas Carlyle 

This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯



The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

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