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Drunk Driver

 

A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalizer.

''I can't do that, officer.''

''Why not?''

''Because I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.''

''Okay, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station.''

''Can't do that either, officer.''

''Why not?''

''Because I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup.''

''Alright, we could get a blood sample.''

''Can't do that either, officer.''

''Why not?''

''Because I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood I could die.''

''Fine then, just walk this white line.''

''Can't do that either, officer.''

''Why not?''

''Because I'm pissed!''

Quotes for Today:

Beauty is equal parts flesh and imagination: we imbue it with our dreams, saturate it with our longings.
Nancy Etcoff, Survival of the Prettiest 


Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Benjamin Franklin 


Before eating the elephant one bite at a time, one must first get it out of the oven and onto the plate.
 

This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯



The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

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