English And Irish Man Joke
The Paddy shouts 'Na ol an t-uisce, ta sÃƒÂ© lan de chac bo' (Don't drink the water, it's full of cowsh * t.)
The man shouts back 'I'm English, speak English, I don't understand you'.
The Paddy shouts back 'Use both hands, you'll get more in'.
Speaking German in Texas
In Texas, there is a town called New Braunfels, where there is a large German-speaking population. One day, a local rancher driving down a country road noticed a man using his hand to drink water from the rancher's stock pond.
The rancher rolled down the window, and shouted, "Sehr angenehm! Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen." Which means: ("Glad to meet you! Don't drink the water. The cows have crapped in it".)
The man shouted back, "I'm from New York, and just down here campaigning for Obama's health care plan. I can't understand you. Please speak in English".
The rancher replied, "Use both hands. You'll get more".