Thursday 23rd May 2019 - 10:11:57 

Friends Working In The Sawmill

 

Sam and John were out cutting wood when John cut his arm off. Sam remained calm, wrapped the arm in a plastic bag, and took the arm and John to a surgeon.

"You are in luck," said the surgeon. "I am an expert in re-attaching limbs. Come back in four hours when I have completed the operation."

So Sam returned in four hours and the surgeon said, "I did it faster than I expected. Jon is down at the pub."

Sam rushed down to the pub and was amazed to see John playing darts.

A few weeks later, Sam and John were cutting wood again when John accidentally cut off his leg.

Sam put the leg in a plastic bag and took it and John back to the same surgeon.

"Legs are harder," said the surgeon, "but I'll see what I can do - come back in six hours."

Sam returned in six hours and the surgeon said, "I finished early - John's playing football."

Sam went to the field and to his surprise found John kicking 50 meter torpedoes.

A few weeks later, Sam and John were cutting wood again, when John accidentally cut off his own head.

Sam put the head in a plastic bag and took it and the rest of John to the surgeon, confident that the skillful surgeon would do the job.

"Gee, heads are really difficult to re-attach," the surgeon muttered, "but I'll see what I can do - come back in 12 hours."

Sam returned in 12 hours.

"How did it go, Doc?" he asked.

"I'm sorry. John died," the surgeon replied. He suffocated in the plastic bag, you idiot!!"

Quotes for Today:

Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: 'Buy one dog, get one flea...'
 


Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves together; that at length they may emerge, full-formed and majestic, into the delights of life, which they are thenceforth to rule.
Thomas Carlyle 


Sincerity is everything. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
George Burns  

This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯




The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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