Wednesday 13th November 2019 - 04:40:32 

Hospital Jokes

 

A woman telephoned St Mary’s Hospital and asked to speak to Ward E2 as she was enquiring as to the progress of one of the patient’s in that ward. She explained that she wanted to know if the patient was getting better, doing as expected or getting worse.

A staff nurse answered the phone, "Hallo, Ward E2. What is the name of the patient and his room number?"
"He is in bed 1, room 10, "came the reply, "And his name is Albert Brown."

"Could you hold the line for a moment, "the nurse asked, "While I check his records. Ah, yes, Mr Brown is doing well: blood pressure OK, blood test results appear normal, he’s going to be taken off the heart monitor and if he continues to improve then Doctor Svoboda is going to send him home tomorrow at midday."

"Oh, that’s super, amazing, I’m so pleased to hear the news; it really is fantastic, thank you so much."

"You sound so glad,"replied the nurse, "You are so and enthusiastic you must be a close friend or a relative of Mr Brown."

The man answered, "Not exactly, I’m Albert Brown in Ward E2, room 10, bed 1. Nobody in here ever tells me anything."


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And another medical joke

While working as a radiology technician in a hospital emergency room, I took some X-rays of a trauma patient and took the results to the senior radiologist, who studied the multiple fractures of the femurs and pelvis.

'What on earth happened to this patient?' he asked in astonishment.

'He fell out of a tree,' according to the report.

The radiologist wanted to know what the patient was doing up a tree.

'I'm not sure, but his paperwork states he works for Mark's Expert Tree Pruning Service.'

Gazing intently at the X-rays, the radiologist blinked and said, 'Cross out 'expert.'

Quotes for Today:

Sincerity is everything. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
George Burns  


Smoking helps you lose weight ... one lung at a time!
 


Software is like SEX it’s better when it’s FREE
Linus Torvald 

Build your own satellite and have it launched into Space.

AmbaSat-1 is a tiny Space satellite kit that you launch yourself
¯\_(ツ)_/¯




The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

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