Previously on John's Jokes
Lost Camper Finds WayA husband took his wife camping for the first time. Considering himself an experienced outdoors man, he passed along outdoor survival tips at every chance he got. However, one day they got lost hiking in the deep woods. The husband tried the usual tactics to determine direction — moss on the trees (there was none), direction of the sun (it was an overcast day), etc., etc.
Just as his wife was beginning to panic, he spotted a small cabin off in the distance. He pulled out his binoculars, studied the cabin, turned and led them right back to the campsite.
"That was terrific", she said. "How did you do it"?
"Simple", he replied. "In this part of the country all the TV satellite dishes point south".
Do You Know What Others Thnk about YouJust Found a New Key to HappinessThree Men Only Rules for Aging
Reason for the Break-UpThe young salesman finally plucked up the courage to tell his fiancee that he was breaking off their engagement so that he could marry another woman.
"Can she cook like I can" asked the distraught fiancee?
"Not even on her best day" replied the salesman!
"Can she buy you expensive gifts like I do"?
"No, she's broke", the salesman said in agreement.
"Well then, is this all about 'relations' " cried out the devastated woman?
"No, nobody does it like you babe", assured the salesman.
"Then what is it" she screamed? "What can she do that I can't"?
The salesman sighed, took a deep breath, looked his ex-fiancee straight in the eyes and said: "She can sue me for child support".
And then it hit him...
the four slice toaster he had bought for her the previous birthday.
A Neat Piece of Trivia.(I bet you'll never look at the game the same way again!)
Starting in 1941, an increasing number of British Airmen found themselves as the involuntary guests of the Third Reich, and the Crown was casting about for ways and means to facilitate their escape...
Now obviously, one of the most helpful aids to that end is a useful and accurate map, one showing not only where stuff was, but also showing the locations of 'safe houses' where a POW on-the-lam could go for food and shelter.
Paper maps had some real drawbacks -- they make a lot of noise when you open and fold them, they wear out rapidly, and if they get wet, they turn into mush. Someone in MI-5 (similar to America 's OSS ) got the idea of printing escape maps on silk. It's durable, can be scrunched-up into tiny wads, and unfolded as many times as needed, and makes no noise whatsoever.
At that time, there was only one manufacturer in Great Britain that had perfected the technology of printing on silk, and that was John Waddington, Ltd. When approached by the government, the firm was only too happy to do its bit for the war effort.
By pure coincidence, Waddington was also the U.K. Licensee for the popular American board game, Monopoly. As it happened, 'games and pastimes' was a category of item qualified for insertion into 'CARE packages', dispatched by the International Red Cross to prisoners of war.
Under the strictest of secrecy, in a securely guarded and inaccessible old workshop on the grounds of Waddington's, a group of sworn-to-secrecy employees began mass-producing escape maps, keyed to each region of Germany or Italy where Allied POW camps were located. When processed, these maps could be folded into such tiny dots that they would actually fit inside a Monopoly playing piece.
As long as they were at it, the clever workmen at Waddington's also managed to add:
1. A playing token, containing a small magnetic compass
2. A two-part metal file that could easily be screwed together
3. Useful amounts of genuine high-denomination German, Italian, and French currency, hidden within the piles of Monopoly money!
British and American air crews were advised, before taking off on their first mission, how to identify a 'rigged' Monopoly set -- by means of a tiny red dot, one cleverly rigged to look like an ordinary printing glitch, located in the corner of the Free Parking square.
Of the estimated 35,000 Allied POWS who successfully escaped, an estimated one-third were aided in their flight by the rigged Monopoly sets. Everyone who did so was sworn to secrecy indefinitely, since the British Government might want to use this highly successful ruse in still another, future war.
The story wasn't declassified until 2007, when the surviving craftsmen from Waddington's, as well as the firm itself, were finally honored in a public ceremony.
It's always nice when you can play that 'Get Out of Jail' Free' card! I realize some of you are (probably) too young to have any personal connection to WWII (Dec. '41 to Aug. '45), but this is still interesting.
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