Saturday 21st September 2019 - 17:50:08 

Logic From 'the Suit'

 

Two builders (Chris and James) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit.

Chris: -I reckon he's an accountant.

James: -No way - he's a stockbroker.

Chris: -He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!

The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Chris and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder...

Chris: -Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?

Suit: -No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession!

Chris: -Oh! What's that then?

Suit:-I'll try to explain by example... Do you have a goldfish at home?

Chris:-Er...mmm... well yeah, I do as it happens!

Suit: -Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it?

Chris: -It's in a pond!

Suit: -Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?

Chris: -As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!

Suit: -Well then it's logical to assume that in this town that if you have a large garden that you have a large house?

Chris: -As it happens I've got a five bedroom house... built it myself!

Suit: -Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married?

Chris: -Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children!

Suit: -Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?

Chris:-Yep! Four nights a week!

Suit: -Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very often?

Chris: -Me? Never

Suit: -Well there you are! That's logical science at work!

Chris:-How's that then?

Suit: -Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about the size of garden you have, the size of house, your family and your sex life!

Chris: -I see! That's pretty impressive... thanks mate!

Both leave the toilet and Chris returns to his mate.

James: -I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?

Chris: -Yep! He's a logical scientist!

James: -What's that then?

Chris: -I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?

James: -Nope

Chris: -Well then, you're a wanker.

Quotes for Today:

Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
 


Men are like Snowstorms; You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
Serine 


Men show their characters in nothing more clearly than in what they think laughable.
Johann von Goethe 

Build your own satellite and have it launched into Space.

AmbaSat-1 is a tiny Space satellite kit that you launch yourself
¯\_(ツ)_/¯




The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

Fuelled by: CodeIgniter - ver: 3.1.9  Debug: 34.204.175.38 / 792,232Mb / 17:50:08 / 200 / No Errors