Monday Morning Sickness
So the boss calls the guy into his office. "You seem to have a problem getting to work on Mondays. You're a really good worker and I don't want to fire you. What's the problem, what can we do to help? Is it drugs? Alcohol"?
The guy stutters a bit, then grimaces and sighs. "Nah", the man says, "I don't drink or do drugs. But, well, my brother-in-law drinks every weekend, and then he beats on my sister. So every Monday morning, she calls me crying, and I go over to make sure she's all right. She puts her head on my shoulder and cries, one thing leads to another, and the next thing you know, we're having sex".
"What!?" his boss yells. "You have sex with your sister"?
"Hey," the guy snarls. "I *told* you I was sick".