Saturday 21st September 2019 - 18:34:02 

One Upmanship Between Ladies

 

Three women who were friends in high school have returned to their hometown to attend their 25th reunion and have lunch together.

Their talk turns to their position in life, and it's clear that they are trying to one-up each other.

The first woman says, "My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks," and then looks at the others with a superior demeanor.

The second woman says, "Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes," and looks about with considerable pride.

The third woman says, "Well, to be perfectly honest with you, we don't have much money and we don't have many material possessions, but 13 canaries can stand shoulder to shoulder on my husband's erect penis."

After a long silence, the first woman looks shame-faced and says, "Girls, I've got a confession to make. I was just trying to impress you. We're not really going to the French Riviera we're going to my parent's house for two weeks."

The second woman says, "Your honesty has shamed me. To be honest, my husband didn't buy me a Mercedes -- he bought me a Taurus."

"Well," the third woman says, "I've got a confession to make. Canary number 13 has to stand on one leg."

Quotes for Today:

Do everything you can to be a happy person, right now. If you think you can grouse today and then be happy someday... in the future, I'm here to tell you that happiness just doesn't work that way. Putting off happiness until 'someday' lasts forever.
 


Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
Scottish Proverb 


Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns 

Build your own satellite and have it launched into Space.

AmbaSat-1 is a tiny Space satellite kit that you launch yourself
¯\_(ツ)_/¯




The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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