Selected Quotations

Selected quote from famous and some infamous authors


       

Selected Quotations




  • A day without smiling is a wasted day!!!

  • A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.

  • A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.
    Doug Linder

  • A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
    George Bernard Shaw

  • A little inaccuracy can save tons of explanation.
    Saki

  • A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
    Anonymous

  • A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.
    Roald Dahl

  • A man is known by the company he avoids.
    Unknown

  • A man is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.

  • A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle.

  • A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
    Paul Erdos (1913-1996)

  • A morning without coffee is like something without something else.

  • A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.
    George Bernard Shaw, Irish playwright, essayist and literary critic (1856-1950)

  • A recent survey, proved that 80% of the males in Liverpool had sex in the shower, the remaining 20% have not been in Prison yet

  • A smile confuses an approaching frown.
    Author Unknown

  • A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
    Phyllis Diller

  • A woman filed for divorce from her husband because she asked for something for her birthday, any style or color, that would go from 0 to 200 fast.
    He gave her a bathroom scale.

  • About as reliable as a 'Thai pinky shake'.

  • According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.

  • After all, in the words of the Swahili saying, "It is not what name others call you that matters, but what name you respond to that truly determines who you are."

  • Ah, life without nanny.

  • All generalizations are false.

  [1]   2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 >  Last ›

     Email a Friend       

 
       
Have you heard these jokes?
The good news and the bad news

The good news is, we have enough money to pay for keeping Johns-Jokes online.

The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets.

Click here to lend your support to: Pixlr 2010 and make a donation at www.pledgie.com !

Your 'Joke of the day' Mission:

Search the joke bank and find the funniest joke! Learn How to Be Funny!

Our joke of the day joke bank contains funny jokes, one liner jokes, short jokes, racist jokes, pick up lines, clean jokes, one line jokes, kid jokes, short funny jokes, funny clean jokes, short jokes, black jokes, yo momma jokes, funny quotes, funny kid jokes and funny games. There is a joke there for you my friendly JOKER!
The best humour reminds us that deep down we're all strange, puzzled creatures who don't really understand the world or how to behave. That kind of humour is warm and generous, it's inclusive. Of course you get other humour which is nasty and cruel, it's about sneering at little people. I think it's much braver to sneer at big people, don't you?
John Cleese

JB in green shorts
me for
updates