Selected Quotations

• 
  Hindsight is an exact science.
  
• 
  How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
  
• 
  How did a fool and his money GET together?
  
• 
  I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.
  Richard Jeni
• 
  I always turn to the sports page first. The sports page records people's accomplishments; the front page nothing but man's failure.
  Chief Justice Earl Warren
• 
  I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.
  
• 
  I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.
  
• 
  I am not young enough to know everything.
  Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
• 
  I deserve someone who likes me for who I am pretending to be.
  Arj Barker
• 
  I do know everything, just not all at once. It's a virtual memory problem.
  
• 
  I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.
  
• 
  I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
  
• 
  I earn a seven-figure salary. Unfortunately, there's a decimal point involved.
  
• 
  I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
  Thomas Jefferson
• 
  I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
  
• 
  I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
  
• 
  I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to use as my telephone. My wish has come true - I no longer know how to use my telephone.
  Bjarne Stroustrup
• 
  I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.
  Harry Truman
• 
  I have no luck with women. I once went on a date and asked the woman if she'd brought any protection. She pulled a switchblade on me.
  
• 
  I have noticed even people who claim everything is redestined and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.
  S.Hawking
• 
  I have recently realised that there is a case of 'You can take the Farang out of Sukhumvit, but you can't take Sukhumvit out of the Farang'
  
• 
  I intend to live forever. So far, so good ! :-)