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Rules To Live By Version 002

 

When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Jack Reacher handle this"?


My reality check bounced.


Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.


I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.


People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.


If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.


When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.


I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.


Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.


On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.


A pat on the back is only a few centimetres from a kick in the butt.


Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.


I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.


You can go anywhere you want if you look serious, wear a white coat and carry a clipboard.


I can only please one person each day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.


Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.


After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.


Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.


Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?


Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing them again.

Quotes for Today:

I have noticed even people who claim everything is redestined and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.
S.Hawking 


I have recently realised that there is a case of 'You can take the Farang out of Sukhumvit, but you can't take Sukhumvit out of the Farang'
 


I intend to live forever. So far, so good ! :-)
 

This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯



The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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