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Santa’s Email From A Sweet, Little Girl

 

Santas email




Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas is thick hair and a thin body.

Please don't mix them up like you did last year.



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Santa Clasu:

1. Wears red.
2. Good at breaking into houses.
3. Has loads of electrical goods that nobody can trace.
4. Drives an unlicensed vehicle.
5. Only does one day's work a year.

Are you sure he's not a Scouser??


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Husband turns to his wife and says...When I die I am going to leave everything to you......

You already do,you lazy git..was her reply xxxx

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Paddy says to Mick "The wife's just given birth to identical twins".

Mick replies, "Who do they look like"?

Paddy answers "Each other you daft bastard"!


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A Friend of mine employed an Eastern European cleaner for his house. He was amazed when she took 8 hours to vacuum his home....

Turned out that she was a SLOVAC.


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Man & wife are cooing over their new born baby.

"Look at the size of his prick," says the man, "It's massive"!

"Yes dear," says the wife, "but at least he's got your eyes".


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Since it's snowed all my missus has done is look through the window!

If it gets any worse I'll have to let her in!!


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I got run over by a Council Snow Plough this morning....

Bastard I said...through Gritted Teeth.


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This can save your bacon
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Quotes for Today:

Lost on the internet? You are Here -->
 


Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
 


Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra. Suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night the ice weasles come.
 


The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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