The Budding Actor
He practices the line over and over again for days before the performance. He can't mess this up - his career could depend on this. He tells his parents and all his friends he has a part in a brand new production and gets them all to come to the opening night.
Finally the day arrives. He arrives at the theater and the security guard at the actors' entrance asks who he is. He boasts proudly "I'm the guy who says 'Hark I hear a cannon!'". To everyone who asks, he grins and says "I'm the guy who says 'Hark, I head a cannon!'" - the makeup crew, the electricians, the set designers, the costume designers, everyone - "I'm the guy who says 'Hark I hear a cannon!'".
The call comes to him to go stage-side and wait for his cue. He stands there repeating his one line over and over again, 'Hark, I hear a cannon!'.
Eventually he gets his cue to go on stage.
Suddenly he hears a loud BANG.
"What the fuck was that?!"