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The Burglar

 

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out, and froze.
When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you."

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

" Did you say that?" He hissed at the parrot.

" Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"

" Moses," replied the bird.

" Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"

" The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler, Jesus."

Quotes for Today:

Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
A. L. Milne (Winnie the Pooh)  


Discipline is remembering what you want.
David Campbell 


Do everything you can to be a happy person, right now. If you think you can grouse today and then be happy someday... in the future, I'm here to tell you that happiness just doesn't work that way. Putting off happiness until 'someday' lasts forever.
 

This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯



The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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