Wednesday 13th November 2019 - 04:08:33 

The Essex Girl And Her Newborn Baby

 

The Essex girl went to the clinic with her newborn for the first time. A rather posh looking lady sat by her side. After a while the lady introduced herself, telling the girl that this was her third child and she was to be called Samantha, Amanda, Fawcett.

The girl smiled politely and said, "That's nice innit".

The woman carried on, "For my first child my husband gave me a diamond necklace as a gift for being so clever".

To which the girl replied, "That's nice innit".

"And for my second child, he gave me a fur coat".

The girl nodded politely, "That's very nice, innit".

The posh lady was well into her stride now. "For this child he's taking me on a cruise".

The Essex girl smiled again, "That's nice innit".

The posh lady said, "And has your husband given YOU something for the birth"?

"Oh yes", the girl said, "He bought me some elocution lessons".

"Oh, and have you learned anything from them"?

"Certainly", the Essex girl said. "I've learned to say 'That's nce innit', instead of f**k off".

Quotes for Today:

Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.
Martin Golding (citation tnx to chads2k2) 


Always remember to be happy because you never know who’s falling in love with your smile.
Author Unknown 


Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
 

Build your own satellite and have it launched into Space.

AmbaSat-1 is a tiny Space satellite kit that you launch yourself
¯\_(ツ)_/¯




The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

Fuelled by: CodeIgniter - ver: 3.1.9  Debug: 35.175.191.72 / 782,768Mb / 04:08:33 / 200 / No Errors