The Plucked Parrot
The following day, the farmer's wife hosts a formal dinner. She thinks it would be unique if the parrot greeted the guests and told them where to go. She had spent nearly a year training the parrot for this.
As the guests began entering, the parrot dutifully announced, "Ladies to the right! Gentlemen to the left!" Spotting two bald guys entering, the parrot says, "And you two chicken-fuckers get up here with me."