Sunday 18th August 2019 - 01:06:14 

The Rabbi's Widow

 

In a small town in the Old Country, the Rabbi died.

His widow, the Rebbetzin, was so disconsolate that the people of the town decided that she ought to get married again.

But the town was so small that the only eligible bachelor was the town butcher.

The poor Rebbetzin was somewhat dismayed because she had been wed to a scholar, and the butcher had no great formal education.

However, she was lonely, so she agreed, and they were married.

After the marriage, Friday came.

She went to the mikvah (a Jewish ritual bath to get rid of impurities).

Then, she went home to prepare to light the candles. The butcher leaned over to her and said, "My mother, Hana, told me that after the mikvah and before lighting the candles, it's good to have sex."

So they did.

She lit the candles.

He leaned over again and said, "My father, Shmuel, told me that after lighting the candles it's good to have sex."

So they did.

They went to bed after saying their prayers.

When they awoke, he said to her, "My grandmother, Rivka, said that before you go to the synagogue it's good to have sex."

So they did.

After praying all morning, they came home to rest.

Again he whispers in her ear, "My grandfather, Moishe, says after praying it's good to have sex." So they did.

On Sunday she went out to shop for food and met a friend who asked, "So how is the new husband?"

She replied, "Well, a scholar he isn't, but he comes from a wonderful family."

Quotes for Today:

We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take us forward, they're called dreams.
Jeremy Irons 


We are disturbed not by the things that happen, but by our opinion of the things that happen.
Epictetus  


We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
Vince Lombardi 

Build your own satellite and have it launched into Space.

AmbaSat-1 is a tiny Space satellite kit that you launch yourself
¯\_(ツ)_/¯




The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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