Friday 23rd August 2019 - 00:35:09 

You Can’t Win With Women.

 

I spent $5000 on a boob job for the wife.
She was delighted.

I spent another $2000 on a nose job for her.
She was ecstatic.

I spent $2000 on liposuction for her
and she was over the moon.

I spent $50 on a blow job for myself
and she goes f#$%ing ballistic.

Quotes for Today:

How did a fool and his money GET together?
 


I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.
Richard Jeni  


I always turn to the sports page first. The sports page records people's accomplishments; the front page nothing but man's failure.
Chief Justice Earl Warren 

Build your own satellite and have it launched into Space.

AmbaSat-1 is a tiny Space satellite kit that you launch yourself
¯\_(ツ)_/¯




The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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