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17 Of The Best !

 

Update - now 18.


  1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory.
    I don't remember, what I chose.

  2. A birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

  3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

  4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings..."

  5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -"don't" and "stop", unless they are used together.

  6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.

  7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

  8. Virginity can be cured.

  9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.

  10. Having sex is like playing bridge.
    If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

  11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.

  12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

  13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
    A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

  14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing.
    He was happy with the hole and she was happy with the thing.

  15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
    A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.

  16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
    A: Breasts don't have eyes.

  17. Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed", many men still sleep with their wives.

  18. A friend asked what I would regret most if I were to die in my sleep?
    Probably going to bed.

Quotes for Today:

Woman is a miracle of divine contradictions.
 


Women are like elephants. Everyone likes to look at them but no-one likes to have to keep one
 


Women don't try as hard as men during sex; after all, they don't fall asleep afterwards.
 


¯\_(ツ)_/¯     ¯\_(ツ)_/¯




This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯



The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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