Wednesday 18th May 2022 - 11:15:24 

17 Rules About Computers


  1. A program is never finished until the programmer dies.
  2. A paperless office has about as much chance as a paperless bathroom.
  3. A user friendly computer first requires a friendly user.
  4. Bad or missing mouse driver. Spank the cat [Y/N]?
  5. Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 100% compression
  6. Computer programmers do it byte by byte.
  7. Computers are like air-conditioners: both stop working properly, if you open windows.
  8. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
  9. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
  10. I am a computer, dumber than any human and smarter than an administrator.
  11. If a train station is where the train stops, what is a work station?
  12. I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!
  13. I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
  14. Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software is Only for Fools and Teenagers.
  15. Oxymoron: "Microsoft Works"
  16. The definition of an upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
  17. There were computers in Biblical times. Eve had an Apple.

Quotes for Today:

Give us clear vision that we may know where to stand and for what to stand, because unless we stand for something we shall fall for anything.
Peter Marshall 

Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.
Jimmy DeMaret  

Grove giveth and Gates taketh away.
... on the trend of hardware speedups not being able to keep up with software demands
Bob Metcalfe (inventor of Ethernet)  

Build your own satellite and have it launched into Space.

AmbaSat-1 is a tiny Space satellite kit that you launch yourself

The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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