20 Rules Of Life Updated
- I can only please one person each day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
- Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
- Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
- You can go anywhere you want if you look serious, wear a white coat and carry a clipboard.
- I love deadlines.
I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
- Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing them again.
- I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
My reality check bounced.
- On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
- I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
- Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
- Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
- A pat on the back is only a few centimetres from a kick in the butt.
- After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
- Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
- People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
- If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
- When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
- When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
- We will continue to have meetings until we figure out why nothing is being accomplished.