The Fastest Joke Site on the Web
Content precedes design.
Design in the absence of content is not design, it's decoration.

A Jelly Baby Walks Into A Bar And Starts Talking To A Smartie.

 

A Jelly Baby walks into a bar and starts talking to a Smartie.

After a few beers the Smartie says "Ere, a bunch of us are heading to that new club, fancy tagging along?"

The Jelly Baby says "No mate, I'm a soft centre; I always end up getting my head kicked in."

So Smartie says "Don't worry about it, I'm a bit of a hard case, I'll look after you."

Jelly Baby thinks about it for a minute and says "Fair enough, as long as you'll look after me", and off they go.

After a few more beers in the club, three Lockets walk in. As soon as he sees them, Smartie hides under the table.

The Lockets take one look at Jelly Baby and start kicking him, breaking bottles over his little jelly head, lamping him with little sugary chairs, and generally having a laugh. After a while they get bored and walk out.

Jelly Baby pulls his battered Jelly Baby body over to the table and wipes up his Jelly Baby blood and turns to Smartie and says "I thought you were going to look after me................"

"I was", says Smartie, "but those Lockets are f**king menthol!"

Quotes for Today:

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat drinking beer all day.
 


Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
 


Give us clear vision that we may know where to stand and for what to stand, because unless we stand for something we shall fall for anything.
Peter Marshall 

This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯



The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

Fuelled by: CodeIgniter - ver: 3.1.8  Debug: 54.80.183.100 / 788,488Mb / 13:01:29 / 200 / No Errors