Wednesday 31st May 2023 - 01:45:42 



The first people in the country to have double glazing were the Aberdonians so their kids couldn't hear the ice cream vans.

How many Aberdonians does it take to change a light bulb?
Och! it's no that dark.

Have you heard about the lecherous Aberdonian who lured a girl up to his attic to see his etchings?
He sold her four of them.

An Aberdonian took a girl for a romantic ride in his taxi. She was so beautiful he could hardly keep his eye on the meter

A very popular man dies in Aberdeen and his old widow wishes to tell all his friends at once so she goes to the Aberdeen Evening Express and says "I'd like tae place an obituary fur ma late husband"

The man at the desk says "OK, how much money dae ye have?"

The old woman replies "£5" to which the man says "You wont get many words for that but write something and we'll see if it's ok" so the old woman writes something and hands it over the counter and the man reads

"Peter Reid, fae Kincorth, deid"

He feels guilty at the abruptness of the statement and encourages the old woman to write a few more things. The old woman ponders and then adds a few more words and hand the paper over the counter again. The man then reads

"Peter Reid, fae Kincorth deid. Ford Escort for sale"

Jock was out working the field in the vale of Tullos when a barnstormer landed.
"I'll give you an airplane ride for £50," said the pilot.
"Sorry, cannae afford it," replied Jock.
"Tell you what," said the pilot, "I'll give you and your wife a free ride but if you get scared it'll be £100."
So up they went and the pilot rolled, looped, stalled and did all he could to scare Jock. Nothing worked and the defeated pilot finally landed the plane. Turning around to the rear seat he said, "Got to hand it to you, for country folk you sure are brave!"
"Aye," said Jock "But ye nearly had me there when the wife fell oot!"

Quotes for Today:

BS has the same mathematical properties as the number 1; that is, BS raised to any power is still BS.

Buy land. They've stopped making it.
Mark Twain 

By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task completely overwhelm me.
Ashleigh Brilliant 

Build your own satellite and have it launched into Space.

AmbaSat-1 is a tiny Space satellite kit that you launch yourself

The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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