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An Effective Diet

 

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a
voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike
running shoes and a sign round her neck. She introduces herself as a
representative of the weight loss company.

The sign reads: "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing
and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. The same girl
shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day
he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lb. as promised.

He then calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning,
beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing
but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads: "If you
catch me you can have me."


Well, he's out the door after her like a shot! This girl is in excellent
shape and it takes him a while to catch her; but when he does, it's
definitely worth every muscle cramp and wheeze, so for the next four days,
the same routine happens. Much to his delight, on the fifth day he weighs
himself only to discover that he has lost another 20 lb. as promised.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound
program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone - "This is our most
rigorous program."

"Absolutely," he replies,"I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds this
huge, muscular, 7ft man standing there wearing nothing but pink running
shoes and a sign around his neck that read:,


"I'm Ronald. If I catch you, you're mine..."

Quotes for Today:

Bart, just remember, trying is the first step to failure.
Homer Simpson 


Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
 


Beauty is equal parts flesh and imagination: we imbue it with our dreams, saturate it with our longings.
Nancy Etcoff, Survival of the Prettiest 

This can save your bacon
¯\_(ツ)_/¯




The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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