Sunday 19th August 2018 - 20:50:27 

Are You A Party Animal?

 

There's these animals in a restaurant that partied late into the nite.


The waiter comes over at the end of the night ...



The skunk says
'Don't look at me, I haven't got a scent'



The duck says
'Just put it on my bill'




The cow says
'You'll have to ask one of the udders'




The deer says
'I had a buck last week and I'm expecting a little doe soon'




The giraffe says
'Well, I guess the high balls are on me then'



The frog says,
"I've got one greenback"




The vampire bat is thinking,
"Which one can I stick for the drink today?"



The snake says,
I guess I can't hold my liquor.




Another snake says:
" If you think I'm paying that, you can kiss my Asp."



No, the snake said,
"It's hiss turn to pay."

The Rhinocerous says:
"Don't worry. When the waiter comes I'll just charge it."




The amoeba said,
"I've got to split now."




The paramecium said,
"I'll split it with him."




The groundhog said,
"If you let me go I shadow you a favor."




The turtle said,
"I shell pay next time."




The chicken said,
"I hope it's cheep."



The elephant said,
"But I've hardly trunk a drop."




The dachshund said,
"I've got be to getting a long now."




The manx cat said,
"I know you've probably heard this tail before, but I'm a little short."




The chicken said,
"If feather I pay it'll be a cold day in hell."



And the snail said,
"No, you shell out the same as me"!



And the trotters said
"take 50 cents from two quarterhorses".




The beaver said,
"Dam if I'll pay".




Ken said
"See Barbie 'bout a doll, her".




The cows said
"We got plenty o' mooolah".



The bumblebee said
"Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzz zzzzzz zzzzz
zzzzzz z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z zzzzzzz off"



The zebra said,
"It's black and white--I haven't the money."




They each said,
"Ask some otter animal."




But the lion said,
"I'll pay--I've still got my pride."

Quotes for Today:

I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
 


I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
 


I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to use as my telephone. My wish has come true - I no longer know how to use my telephone.
Bjarne Stroustrup 

This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯




The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

Fuelled by: CodeIgniter - ver: 3.1.9  Debug: 54.80.93.19 / 793,608Mb / 20:50:27 / 200 / No Errors