Friday 19th August 2022 - 14:48:54 

Call To Prayer


I recently returned from a trip to the Middle East.

It was an experience I will long remember. I had expected to find nomads living in the middle ages. Instead I found the area to be firmly in the twentieth century. I remember most the faithful Muslims being called to come to prayer.

They now use microphones. They have become ... Mecca-nized.

The Lecture
A Chinese scholar was lecturing when all the lights in the auditorium went out. He asked members of the audience to raise their hands. As soon as they had all complied, the lights went on again. He then said, "Prove wisdom of Old Chinese saying...

"Many hands make light work."

The Friend
I remember my cousin‘s friend, Julia We called her "Ju". Ju had an annoying friend who kept on referring to himself as her cousin, and when he was invited to parties he would make a fool of himself. On two occaisons had to be kicked out of the party. So the really cool thing about her was not only was she a good listener, but...

she was the only Ju in history to have their false kin removed twice.

The Indian Chief
Iroquios Chief Smallfellow died in battle. During the night, one of "Shorty's" wives snuck his body out of the camp and had a very private burial under a Joshua tree out on the prairie. She then made her son a dinner of Chinese noodles. He ate them on top of a carved tree depicting the history of his father. It was said that this was the first time anyone ever heard of...

Lo Mein on a totem pole.

The Mafia
A Mafia underboss was sending one of his men out to run an errand for the Godfather. He was to make a pickup at Al Weiss the tailor's establishment. To make sure the hood understood, he was asked to repeat the instructions. "OK, boss, its...

Al Weiss, dark vest, be for the Don"!

Quotes for Today:

When women kiss it always reminds me of prize fighter shaking hands.

Whenever you are depressed and think that you've lost, remember you are the same sperm that once won the battle To survive among millions of your kind.

Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

Build your own satellite and have it launched into Space.

AmbaSat-1 is a tiny Space satellite kit that you launch yourself

The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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