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Computer Diagnosis From A Urine Sample

 

A man goes to the doctor with a sore arm.

Doc says: "I haven't got time to see you, just put a urine sample in the machine in the hall".

The man does so, and the machine prints out the following:

"You have tennis elbow, bathe your arm in warm salty water and avoid strenuous exercise".

Intrigued the man decides to put the machine to the test. So he goes home and gets urine samples from his wife and daughter, adds a dog turd and then masturbates into the mixture for good measure. He returns to the doctors and puts the mixture in the machine. The machine whirls and clicks and then prints out the following:

"Your dog has worms, take it to the vet

Your daughter is using cocaine, get her into rehab'

Your wife is pregnant.

It's twins.

They aren't yours.

Find a good divorce lawyer.

And if you don't stop masturbating your tennis elbow will never get better".

Quotes for Today:

If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there.
 


If you don't risk anything you risk even more.
Erica Jong 


If you have never made a mistake, then you have never done anything of significance.
 


¯\_(ツ)_/¯     ¯\_(ツ)_/¯




This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯



The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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