Computer Diagnosis From A Urine Sample
Doc says: "I haven't got time to see you, just put a urine sample in the machine in the hall".
The man does so, and the machine prints out the following:
"You have tennis elbow, bathe your arm in warm salty water and avoid strenuous exercise".
Intrigued the man decides to put the machine to the test. So he goes home and gets urine samples from his wife and daughter, adds a dog turd and then masturbates into the mixture for good measure. He returns to the doctors and puts the mixture in the machine. The machine whirls and clicks and then prints out the following:
"Your dog has worms, take it to the vet
Your daughter is using cocaine, get her into rehab'
Your wife is pregnant.
They aren't yours.
Find a good divorce lawyer.
And if you don't stop masturbating your tennis elbow will never get better".