Cost Of Cosmetic Surgery

I've started saving up for my wife's second boob job.
She looks bloody ridiculous with one massive boob.



Doctor: I'm sorry, but you're just too ugly for plastic surgery. I suggest wearing a plastic bag over your head.
Patient: Um don't you mean a paper bag...?
Doctor: Maybe I didn't emphasize how ugly you are...



Man: I'm sure that woman has had a face lift.
Buddy: How can you tell?
Man: Every time she crosses her legs her mouth snaps shut.



She's had her face lifted so often, when she raises her eyebrows her socks lift up.



Patient: Doctor, after my breast enhancement will the scars show?
Doctor: Well, that’s rather up to you.



She got her looks from her father – he’s a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx



I don’t know anything about cosmetic surgery but a good rule of thumb is, it’s time to stop when you look permanently frightened.



A plastic surgeon is asked if he’s ever been asked to do anything unusual.
"No", replies the surgeon. "But I have raised a few eyebrows...


My wife went to have a face-lift last week, but when they saw what was under it they dropped it again