Friday 7th May 2021 - 07:51:00 

Couple On Their First Date


Barry Morris had signed up to a dating company and he had chosen his first date.

He worried the entire week before the date was due to take place and he wondered how he could impress the young lady he would be meeting that night.

The night of the date arrived and Barry went to the restaurant early.

As luck would have it, he happened to see Sean Connery coming into the same restaurant.

As the head waiter fussed over Sean Connery, there was a moment when the big Scot was left alone and Barry seized his chance.

"Excuse me, Mr Connery, I wonder if you could help me. I'm supposed to be meeting a woman here tonight for a blind date and I really want to impress her. I was wondering if you wouldn't mind coming over to our table at some point and strike up a conversation with me. Would you do that please?"

Sean thought about it and, as the head waiter returned, he reached for Barry's hand to shake it, "What's your name? and Barry told him.

About half an hour into the meal, Barry's date seemed very impressed with him. Barry's confidence soared, he was witty, intelligent and debonair.

At this point, Sean Connery came to their table, "As I live and breath," says Sean flashing a big grin, "Barry Morris you old dog, how are you? And who is this gorgeous lady you're with?"

"Fuck off Sean," says Barry, "can't you see I'm on a date?"

Quotes for Today:

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.
Elayne Boosler 

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

I sometimes wonder why I drink; I think that it's because I think.

Build your own satellite and have it launched into Space.

AmbaSat-1 is a tiny Space satellite kit that you launch yourself

The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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