Thursday 2nd December 2021 - 23:44:41 

Courtesy Of The Big Yin - Billy Connolly For Those Not In The Know.


A trainee paratrooper is standing at the door feeling queezy.

The Sarn'tmajor says "jump you wimp".

"But what if my 'chute doesn't open"?

"You've a reserve 'chute, and if that doesn't work, just shout Allah Allah"!

So para jumps and his 'chute fails, as does his reserve, so he shouts "Allah, Allah" and a big brown hand comes out of the clouds, catches him and puts him safely on the ground.

"Thankk F**K for that, Jesus was that close"!

and a big brown foot comes out of the clouds and squishes him.

Billy connolly

Build your own satellite and have it launched into Space.

AmbaSat-1 is a tiny Space satellite kit that you launch yourself

Quotes for Today:

How did a fool and his money GET together?

I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.
Richard Jeni  

I always turn to the sports page first. The sports page records people's accomplishments; the front page nothing but man's failure.
Chief Justice Earl Warren 

The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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