Thursday 20th January 2022 - 02:56:14 

Current British Humour


  • It has been announced that the police are going to be allowed to use water cannons on rioters in Birmingham.
    They are putting some Persil in to stop the coloureds running.

  • Two Muslims crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London .....
    Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-Dam.

  • Riots in Wythenshawe last month caused over a million pounds worth of improvements.

  • Muslims have gone on the rampage in Liverpool, killing anyone who's English.
    Police fear the death toll could be as high as 1.

  • Sat opposite an Indian lady on the train today; she shut her eyes and stopped breathing.
    I thought she was dead, until I saw the red spot on her forehead and realised she was just on standby.

  • They've had to cancel the panto 'Jack & the Beanstalk' in Birmingham, Bristol, Oldham, Bradford, Burnley, Leicester Luton and London ..
    Apparently the giant couldn't smell any Englishmen.

  • Years ago it was suggested that, "An apple a day keeps the Doctor away."
    But since all the doctors in England are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works a treat!

  • A pharmacist walked into his shop in Paddington to find a Pakistani leaning against the wall.

    "What's wrong with him?", he asked his assistant.

    "He came in for cough syrup, but I couldn't find any so I gave him an entire box of laxatives."

    "You idiot" said the chemist, "You can't stop a cough with laxatives."

    "Of course you can" the assistant replied,

    "Look at him..... he daren't cough now !!”

Contributor: Brenda

Quotes for Today:

Seasonal Greetings

Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: 'Buy one dog, get one flea...'

Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves together; that at length they may emerge, full-formed and majestic, into the delights of life, which they are thenceforth to rule.
Thomas Carlyle 

Build your own satellite and have it launched into Space.

AmbaSat-1 is a tiny Space satellite kit that you launch yourself

The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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