Friday 17th August 2018 - 22:36:40 

Dilbert Quotes From Company Managers

 

A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were lookingfor people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers.


As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks.
(This was the winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA)
What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter.
(Lykes Lines Shipping)

E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business.
(Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)

This project is so important we can't let things that are more important interfere with it. (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)

Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule.
(Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)

No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them.
(R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)

Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say.
(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)

We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees.
(Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)

Quotes for Today:

He that will make a good use of any part of his life must allow a large part of it to recreation.
John Locke  


He used statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts; for support rather than illumination.
Andrew Lang (1844-1912) 


Hindsight is an exact science.
 

This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯




The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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