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Economic One-liners

 

I've put something aside for a rainy day. It's an umbrella.

Q: Which one of our natural resources will become exhausted first?
A: The Taxpayer.

I've written books on advertising – cheque books.

I am having an out of money experience.

It is easier to rob by setting up a bank than by holding up a bank

Financial markets have a very safe way of predicting the future. They cause it.

For some time I've been speculating on commodities: heavily buying into both the Coffee and Chocolate markets.

It's unfortunate we can't buy many business executives for what they are worth and sell them for what they think they are worth.

The same people who laugh at fortune tellers take economists seriously.

My bank lets me send a text message and it'll text back with my balance. It's a cool feature but I didn't think the LOL was necessary.

True wealth is not comparing yourself to others, but enjoying what you have. Especially when you have more than everyone else.

Whenever I go near a bank I get withdrawal symptoms.

A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.

If at first you don't succeed: try management.

They have two tellers in my bank, except when it's busy they have one.

By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

Economics is the only profession where you can gain great eminence without ever being right.

I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few.

Quotes for Today:

Beauty is equal parts flesh and imagination: we imbue it with our dreams, saturate it with our longings.
Nancy Etcoff, Survival of the Prettiest 


Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Benjamin Franklin 


Before eating the elephant one bite at a time, one must first get it out of the oven and onto the plate.
 


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This can save your bacon

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The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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