Facebook - Crap Joke Central - Update
It's true that alcohol kills people; but how many are born because of it?
A man was driving down a motorway in England with his blonde girlfriend and she piped up,"I think those people in the car next to us are from Wales".
"Why do you think that" he said?
"Well, the kids are writing on the window and it says:
"stit ruoy su wohS".
"I promise", "I am sorry" and "I love you" all have eight letters...
but then again, so does "bullshit".
Adam Got Caught Speeding Yesterday...
the policeman asked him to step out of the car and walk in a straight line. Half way down he stopped Adam and said, "I'm sorry sir, but you'll have to come back to the station with me as you're staggering".
Adam replied, "Oohh, you little tiger, you're not so bad looking yourself".
Someone knocked at my door this afternoon.
When I opened it, I saw a guy from Domino's holding a cheese and tomato pizza.
"I haven't ordered any pizzas," I said. "This must be a mistake."
"I know," he replied. "Your neighbour forgot his Facebook password and wanted to show you what he was eating for lunch."
The good news about mid-life is that the glass is still half full.
Of course the bad news is that it won't be long before your teeth are floating in it.