Facebook - Crap Joke Central - Update 004
Overheard in the pub:
A really brutally ugly guy walked up to a girl, squeezed her arse and said, "Give me your number, sexy".
The girl replied "Have you got a pen"?
The guy smiled and said "Yes of course".
She replied, "Well you better get back to it, before the farmer notices you're missing".
Overheard in the local Wat.
Did you hear about that Buddhist leader who retired and tended his crops?
He's now known as the Dalai Farmer.
I took a picture of myself with books on my head.
I call it a shelfie.
“I've always pictured ...
“I've always pictured myself taking selfies.”
A sharp decline in the number of mating owls has been blamed on the exceptionally wet winter
I guess it's too wet to woo
Ponderism for the today:
Surely, Noel should be Noe.
Overheard in the local pub...
If it were truly the thought that counted, more women would be pregnant.
Overheard in the Lecture Theatre...
The Chinese scholar was lecturing when all of a sudden the lights in the auditorium went out. He asked members of the audience to raise their hands. As soon as they had all complied, the lights went on again. He then said, "Prove wisdom of Old Chinese saying...
"Many hands make light work".
So what if I can't spell Armageddon! It's not the end of the world.
Overheard in the pub...
Last night when I was in bed with the wife, she asked me what I'd most like to do to her body.
Apparently, "Identify it" wasn't the answer she was after.
I had to send a duplicate application to get a job making retro cars at Citroen………They needed 2 CV’s
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