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Five Short Jokes

 

  1. If you're anxious and you know it...
    Clasp your hands.


  2. A defense attorney was in recovery after open heart surgery.
    He woke up to a bright beautiful morning and saw that the blinds were closed tight and he asked the nurse why?
    The nurse replied, "late last night the building across the street burned down, a complete loss. We didn't want you to wake up, see the flames, and assume that the surgery was a failure."


  3. Did you here about the big paddle sale at the boat store?
    Everyone said it was quite an oar deal!


  4. You’ll never see me buying Evian water.
    I’m not stupid, it’s 'naive’ backwards.
    I buy the slightly cheaper Dosyllis instead.
    I think it’s Greek.


  5. My mates been having an affair with a goldsmith but he had to call it off.
    He couldn't stand the gilt.

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Quotes for Today:

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
George Bernard Shaw 


A little inaccuracy can save tons of explanation.
Saki 


A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
Anonymous  

This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯



The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

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