Thursday 22nd November 2018 - 00:37:55 

Gentle Thoughts For Today

 

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.


When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.


The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.


The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.


Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are ' XL.'


The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.


There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt .


Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'


The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.


Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved..


When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.


Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.


Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf


Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.





Nicked from: http://www.prostatepointers.org/mailman/listinfo/hah

Quotes for Today:

It is not the employer who pays the wages. Employers only handle the money. It is the customer who pays the wages.
Henry Ford, US industrialist (1863-1947) 


It is not what they say about you, it’s what they whisper.
 


It is not what you say you are, but what you do that defines you.
 

This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯




The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

Fuelled by: CodeIgniter - ver: 3.1.9  Debug: 54.146.195.24 / 788,640Mb / 00:37:55 / 200 / No Errors