Sunday 4th April 2021 - 04:11:57 

Getting Home - You Just Cannot Win


John arrives home from work, exhausted, at 5PM. As soon as he gets through the door, his wife Mary is having a go at him:

"Why don't you ever wipe your feet before walking into the house?
I thought you said you were coming home at lunchtime today!
Where's the shopping I asked you to get on the way home?
You left the toilet seat up again this morning!
Don't you ever think of buying me flowers like you used to"? (etc.)

This goes on for nearly two hours and nothing John says or does seems to be right by her. By 7 PM, he has had enough. But he knows better than to argue back, so he tries a more tactical approach.

"Darling," he says, "Please, let's start again. I'll go back outside and shut the door. Then I'll open the door and come in. We can then pretend I've just come home. What do you think"?

"OK", Mary replies.

So John puts on his coat, goes outside, shuts the door, waits a minute, opens the door, and steps in with a smile on his face. He immediately announces, in a musical tone, "Oh, darling, I'm home"!

"And just where have you been?" says Mary, "It's past seven o'clock"!

Courtesy of HAH -

Quotes for Today:

Those who never win and never quit are idiots.

Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug.
Jon Lithgow 

To be wronged is nothing unless you remember it.
Confucious (Kong Fu-Zi) 

Build your own satellite and have it launched into Space.

AmbaSat-1 is a tiny Space satellite kit that you launch yourself

The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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