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God Was Planning On Taking A Vacation

 

God is sitting up in his ivory tower, tired and worn out. He's had enough of the pressures and stresses of being the number one, so he's decided to take a holiday. He calls all his super-being mates together to discuss a few suggestions.

St. Peter, thinking, nods his head, then says, "How about Mars? It's nice and warm there this time of year". God shakes His head before answering, "Nah I went there 15,000 years ago. It was s**t, no atmosphere and too dusty".

"What about Pluto" suggests another? "No way" God mutters! "I went there 10,000 years ago. F***ing freezing it was too".

"What about Mercury?" says another. "Are you kidding?" says God. "I went there 5,000 years ago, I nearly burnt me bollox off it was that hot, never again".

"I've got it", says St. Peter, his face lighting up. "How about going down to Earth for your vacation"?

"You must be joking," says God, chuckling, "I went there 2,000 years ago, knocked up some Jewish bird, and they're STILL bloody talking about it".

Quotes for Today:

Happiness is an empty sac!
 


Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
 


Have you noticed that all the people in favour of birth control are already born?
Benny Hill 


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This can save your bacon

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The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

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