Monday 2nd November 2020 - 13:07:03 

Health & Fitness - Old Age - Dangerous Driving Penalties

 

Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loves to charge
around the nursing home taking corners on one wheel and getting up
to maximum speed on the long corridors.

Because the poor woman isone sandwich short of a picnic, the other
residents tolerate her and some of the men actually join in.

One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and
Crazy Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched.

"Stop!" he said in a firm voice, "Have you got a license for that
thing?"

Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat
wrapper and held it up to him.

"O.K." he said and away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird
Harold popped out in front of her.

"Stop!" he said, "Have you got proof of insurance?"

Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a beer coaster and held it
up to him.

Harold nodded and said, "Carry on, ma'am."

As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Mad
Malcolm stepped out in front of her, stark naked holding a very
sizable erection in his hand.

"Oh, no," said Ethel, "Not the breathalyzer again!"

Quotes for Today:

I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
 


I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
 


I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to use as my telephone. My wish has come true - I no longer know how to use my telephone.
Bjarne Stroustrup 

Build your own satellite and have it launched into Space.

AmbaSat-1 is a tiny Space satellite kit that you launch yourself
¯\_(ツ)_/¯




The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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