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Hollywood Squares

 

Hollywood Squares




If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics. These questions and answers are from the days when "Hollywood? Squares"game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now.





Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions.


Q. Do female frogs croak?

A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.




Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be??

A. Charley Weaver aka Clifford Arquette : Three days of steady drinking should do it.







Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.

A.? George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.




Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?

A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.




Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?

A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning






Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.





Q.? In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"??

A.? Vincent Price : No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.





Q. What are "Do It," "I Can? Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?

A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.





Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?

A. Rose Marie : You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.







Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?

A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.







Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?

A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.



Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?

A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.





Q.? It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.? One is politics, what is the other?

A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.





Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet??

A. Rose Marie : Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.< FONT color=navy>





Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?

A. Marty Allen : Only after lights out.





Q. When you pat a dog on its? Head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do??

A. Paul Lynde : Make him bark?





Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to??

A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.



Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people??

A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.



Q.? It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it??

A.? Paul Lynde : Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.



Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?

A.George Gobel:?? Get it in his mouth.





Q.Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?

A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?





Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?

A.Charley Weaver : I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.



Q.? Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

A Charley Weaver : His feet?



Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

Quotes for Today:

Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves together; that at length they may emerge, full-formed and majestic, into the delights of life, which they are thenceforth to rule.
Thomas Carlyle 


Sincerity is everything. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
George Burns  


Smoking helps you lose weight ... one lung at a time!
 


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This can save your bacon

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The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

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