Sunday 22nd July 2018 - 23:20:38 

How The World Works Lately…

 

If a man cuts his finger off while slicing salami at work,
he blames the restaurant.


If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer,
your family blames the tobacco company.


If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk,
they blame the bartender.


If your grandchildren are brats with no manners,
you blame TV.


If your friend is shot by a deranged madman,
You blame the gun manufacturer.

And if a crazed person breaks into the cockpit and tries to kill the pilot at 35,000 feet, and the passengers kill him instead,
the mother of the crazed deceased blames the airline.

I must have lived too long to understand the world as it is anymore.

So, if I die while my OLD WRINKLED ASS is parked in front of this computer,
I want all of you to blame Bill Gates

Quotes for Today:

Remember, people move in the direction of praise, while criticism usually doesn't produce much movement at all, except away from the critic.
 


Search for the positive and you shall find it. Search for the negative and you shall find it. You will always find and often become what you are searching for.
 


Seasonal Greetings
 

This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯




The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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