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How To Get To Heaven

 

I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.

I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven"?

"NO"! the children answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven"?

Again, the answer was, "NO"! By now I was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun!

"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven"?" I asked them again.

Again, they all answered, "NO"! I was just bursting with pride for them. Well, I continued, "then how can I get into Heaven"?

A six-year-old boy shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE F*CKIN' DEAD"!

Quotes for Today:

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
Thomas Jefferson 


I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
 


I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
 


¯\_(ツ)_/¯     ¯\_(ツ)_/¯




This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯



The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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