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Idle Thoughts If A Retiree;s Mind

 

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.


....I had amnesia once -- or twice.


....I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?



...Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.



...All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.



..If the world was a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.



...What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?



...They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.



...Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.



...Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.



...One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.



...My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.



...I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.



...The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.



...If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?



...Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.



...Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

Quotes for Today:

If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough.
Mario Andretti 


If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
 


If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
 


¯\_(ツ)_/¯     ¯\_(ツ)_/¯




This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯



The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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